I'll try anything

Yes, I know I'm only 38 weeks and TECHNICALLY, this kid has 14 days before she's even overdue. But anyone who knows me realizes patience is not my strong suit. Combine natural impatience with incredible discomfort, and you have a woman ready to try anything to move things along at a quicker pace.

The ridiculousness about anything rumored to hasten or induce labor is that there is actually no way of knowing or proving if they work. Ultimately, babies just come when they want to and in all likelihood, nothing we do really affects them one way or another. But here's what I've tried so far:

• red raspberry leaf tea every day for the last 2 months - this actually isn't supposed to induce labor, just tone the cervix to prepare for a more effective labor
• evening primrose oil at every meal for the last 2 weeks
• pineapple - tons of pineapple, with some kiwi and mango thrown in for good measure
• tons of cardio - the other day I informed Sam I wasn't coming home from the gym until the baby was born...after 45 minutes on the treadmill and 30 minutes on the elliptical, I had to face the fact it wasn't going to happen
• spicy food - Thai, Malaysian, clumps of wasabi with my sushi...nothing
• squatting, sitting on an exercise ball, climbing stairs
• relaxation and visualization - if only I had the power to make things happen just by thinking about them, life would be a lot more interesting
• and yes, the one everyone suggests with a giggle, since nothing is funnier than the idea of an enormously pregnant woman having lots of sex

Still yet untried:

• labor induction acupuncture
• massage
• castor oil - I have to say, this is my last last resort since everything I've read makes it sound absolutely horrible and I feel awful enough without help

Am I forgetting anything? It's 14 days until the due date, so I'm open to suggestions...

UPDATE:

So I got a prenatal massage yesterday. While it was amazing and I felt way more relaxed and in less pain afterwards, I'm still very pregnant.

Less than stellar

Today my company laid off some hardworking employees for no reason other than saving a little money. It makes me angry and sad to know how little integrity corporate America truly has. I have to wonder what this means for me as someone about to go on a 3-month leave, if I'll get paid properly while I am out, what kind of place I will face when I come back to work. Throughout my pregnancy, I have tried so hard not to let anything affect the effort I put into my job, even when I was constantly nauseated, or now, when every step I take sends waves of pain shooting through my body. And what for? Do they even appreciate it or take notice at all? Or are we all just numbers on a spreadsheet?

It's enough to make a pregnant lady curl up on the couch with a cat and cry.

Love this

This blog is amazing. If ever anyone as ever written words closer to my own heart, I have yet to discover them.

Personal favorites so far:

#2 Try to know what is bubbling around inside your heart.
#16 Call if you are going to be late.
#31 If you are out to dinner with a group and get stuck with a bill that is more then you owe, just pay it and don't give it a second thought.
#80 Not everyone is going to like you, and that's just fine.
#98 If you haven't worn it in a year, give it away.
#136 Try to bring things into your home that you either need or love and let the rest go.
#152 Men as a rule are not good mind readers.
#193 Leggings are not pants.
#203 Return your shopping cart. (oh, the elaboration she gives on this is just brilliant)
#209 If you test people, they may fail.

Birth day

No, not the baby's. That would be way too easy.

Today is my dear husband's 31st birthday. Sadly, we're both at work, I have a cold, and his celebration is going to consist of take-out sushi and hopefully a fancy dessert if I can pull my act together this evening. We bought him a few presents over the weekend during our 11-hour Black Friday shopping marathon, and he seems pretty pleased with those. Poor guy will forever have to share his birthday month with our anniversary and the baby, which kind-of takes the specialness away, unfortunately. But I figured I could at least write him a little thank-you letter and post it here so everyone on the Internet knows how amazing I think he is.

Dear Sam,

While I wish your birthday could be marked with lavish celebration and great rejoicing every year as you certainly deserve, this year I hope sharing the night with me and your little-girl-to-be will suffice because, well, it's all I've got for you. I wish there were some way I could show you how immensely grateful and happy I am to be sharing my life with you on this day. In the three short years we've known each other, we have experienced so much joy and accomplished every goal we have set together, and I cannot imagine having a better partner than you.

Thank you for every moment that we spend together, for your patience and kindness, your enthusiasm and optimism. Thank you for second chances and forgiveness and your unwavering support through all types of challenges. Thank you for being willing to compromise and for always keeping an open mind to new experiences and ideas. Thank you for working so hard at everything in life, and for never giving up on me or yourself. Thank you for creating a new life with me and sharing my excitement for building our family, even when the process is less-than-enjoyable. You have made a lot of difficult choices and sacrifices over these last few years, and I know it hasn't been easy, but I hope it has been worth it.

I love you more and more every day, and I know we have decades of wonderful and crazy adventures ahead of us. There is no one in the world I would rather grow old with.

Yours forever and ever,
Sara

No such thing as soon enough

Ok, so now things are starting to be unpleasant. As I told a friend today, I am probably in pain 75% of the day. Apparently this is "normal" and nothing to be concerned about. So fine. Not concerned. Just irritated.

It's not the pain that bothers me, I'm well-versed in physical discomfort and totally fine with it. But it's the waiting for the pain to change, to grow, to have a purpose, that is making me totally nuts. My dreams are all about going into labor and having this baby. Every time I stand up and walk to the bathroom, I analyze the pain to see if anything feels different. I have probably Googled "pre-labor pains" and every variation I can think of 15 times in the last 3 days.

I just want something, anything, to happen that will give me some idea of how many more days I'll wake up feeling like my body has been taken over by an alien, how much longer I'll have to wait to see my baby, how long I have before I cross over the line to being a Parent and leave being a Daughter behind.

Optimal

Had the 36 week visit this morning, the baby is head down and facing back, so she's in the optimal birth position! Breech delivery can pretty much officially be checked off the list of things to worry about, so that's a relief.

I am obviously still fretting about the possibility of needing an induction at 41 weeks. The acupuncturist I've been seeing for back/pelvic pain said there are induction treatments he can do at 39 weeks, so I guess I can give that a shot if necessary. It all depends on what happens over the next few weeks, I suppose. No dilation or effacement yet, but there's still time.

I couldn't sleep last night, I think the excitement is starting to get to me. Only 29 days until everything changes forever!

So wise

While I've never been one to read women's magazines for the sage advice, a recent interview with Michelle Obama in Glamour had a quote that pretty much captures exactly what I wish someone had said to me years ago about men:

"Look at the heart. Look at the soul. Look at how the guy treats his mother and what he says about women. How he acts with children he doesn't know. And, more important, how does he treat you? When you're dating a man you should always feel good. You should never feel less than. You should never doubt yourself. You shouldn't be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't make you completely happy and make you feel whole."

I mean, it seems fairly obvious right? Like something we should instinctively know as women? Yet we have all at one time or another completely lost sight of this in seeking out partners, either because we thought other things were more important, like money or career choices, or maybe because we didn't believe we deserved to feel this way. Regardless, preparing to have a little girl makes me want to save thoughts like this to share with her when the time is right, maybe the day she asks me why I was so old when I got married...