So I've entered into a new anxious phase of pregnancy. It has nothing to do with the labor itself, I'm totally over that. And I'm not concerned about handling motherhood -- I have pretty much resigned myself to at least a few months of complete chaos. I am just really anxious to see my little girl and know I took good care of her for 10 months.
Of course, the what-ifs are starting as I think about all the things I did or didn't give up throughout this pregnancy. Like coffee and artificial sweetener - cut back but didn't give up. Or spinning - yeah, still going eventhough people look at me in horror. I even had a couple swallows of wine here and there (horrors!) which everyone says is fine in the third trimester, but still... I worry that the sacrifices and changes I made were too small, that I tried too hard to selfishly maintain normalcy and now my baby is going to come out with gills and it's going to be All. My. Fault.
We also ignored every superstition and Jewish custom and bought EVERYTHING in advance, starting when I was just a couple months along. Granted, I don't buy into the belief that somehow planning ahead dooms your child to disaster, but what-if...
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