In any case, here's our little girl, growing up way too fast.
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| From Tziona |
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| From Tziona |
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| From Tziona |
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
See? Worst blogger ever.
I don't even know why I keep trying to do this over and over. I always start with the best of intentions, then lose steam shortly thereafter. I'm not exactly sure why, it's not as though I don't have things to say and abundant free time in which to write it all down. Maybe there's just too much to say.
In any case, here's our little girl, growing up way too fast.
In any case, here's our little girl, growing up way too fast.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
She's here!
Introducing Tziona Esther Gras, born 7 lbs 4oz on Christmas Day, 2009, at 3:39 pm.
I have gotten many requests for details about the birth, so here it is. For those with abundant free time and an interest in childbirth, read on. If talk of hospitals and body parts and pain makes you bored/queasy/angry, I would probably stop reading now.
The story begins on Christmas Eve in the morning. I was having decent contractions, although they were irregular and spaced pretty far apart, so Sam stayed home from work. Things really didn't pick up, so we just hung out at home and made chocolate chip cookies for the nurses since we assumed we'd end up there at some point in the near future.
At around 5:30 pm (while watching 21 Jump Street on Hulu), I felt a gush and realized my membranes had ruptured. We spoke to the doctor, who was concerned about meconium staining in the amniotic fluid, so we headed to the hospital. Ultimately, we were admitted even though I was barely dilated, and I was hooked up to a Pitocin IV and fetal monitor around 11 pm. And while this wasn't really what I had envisioned for the birth, I decided it wasn't worth risking further complications from infection and low fluid levels.
I labored without any pain medication for about 4 hours, trying every different position I could while remaining hooked up to the monitor. We had an AMAZING nurse who had tons of suggestions and supported both Sam and I as much as we needed. But when I was examined at 3 am and found out I was only 2 cm, I realized there was no way I could handle another 8-9 hours of almost-constant contractions. When I finally asked for the epidural, I felt totally defeated, but I also knew I had reached the threshold of what I was capable of physically handling.
Once the epidural was in, Sam and I were both able to get a few hours of sleep. We woke up around 7 and the next several hours are just a blur in my mind. In the early afternoon, my OB came in for another check and I was finally 9 cm, but the baby was face-up. After a little discussion, she successfully turned her and all of a sudden I was 10 cm!
I started pushing around 1:30 just as the epidural was wearing off. There are no words in my vocabulary to describe how confusing and painful the next 2 hours were. Even with all the encouragement from my doctor, nurse, and husband, I just couldn't get her head all the way out. As I was ready to give up yet again and ask for a forcep-assist, the doctor brought in someone to push down on my belly for just a few more contractions. All I can remember is screaming as the head finally emerged, at which point they realized the cord was wrapped loosely around her, the probable cause of all the difficulty. Once the cord was cut, she popped right out, and just like that, it was over.
She was suctioned and cleaned up while Sam took pictures. There was some concern about her breathing, but ultimately they decided she was fine. I held her almost right away and she immediately began trying to breastfeed. Someone asked me the other day what my first thoughts were when I held her, and I wish I could remember but I was so exhausted and overwhelmed, I can't recollect any emotion other than relief.
We went home the next day, exactly 24 hours later. Our first night at home together was surprisingly easy, thanks to my incredible husband. And so here we are, a family of three at last, excitedly looking forward to everything the future holds for us.
I labored without any pain medication for about 4 hours, trying every different position I could while remaining hooked up to the monitor. We had an AMAZING nurse who had tons of suggestions and supported both Sam and I as much as we needed. But when I was examined at 3 am and found out I was only 2 cm, I realized there was no way I could handle another 8-9 hours of almost-constant contractions. When I finally asked for the epidural, I felt totally defeated, but I also knew I had reached the threshold of what I was capable of physically handling.
Once the epidural was in, Sam and I were both able to get a few hours of sleep. We woke up around 7 and the next several hours are just a blur in my mind. In the early afternoon, my OB came in for another check and I was finally 9 cm, but the baby was face-up. After a little discussion, she successfully turned her and all of a sudden I was 10 cm!
I started pushing around 1:30 just as the epidural was wearing off. There are no words in my vocabulary to describe how confusing and painful the next 2 hours were. Even with all the encouragement from my doctor, nurse, and husband, I just couldn't get her head all the way out. As I was ready to give up yet again and ask for a forcep-assist, the doctor brought in someone to push down on my belly for just a few more contractions. All I can remember is screaming as the head finally emerged, at which point they realized the cord was wrapped loosely around her, the probable cause of all the difficulty. Once the cord was cut, she popped right out, and just like that, it was over.
She was suctioned and cleaned up while Sam took pictures. There was some concern about her breathing, but ultimately they decided she was fine. I held her almost right away and she immediately began trying to breastfeed. Someone asked me the other day what my first thoughts were when I held her, and I wish I could remember but I was so exhausted and overwhelmed, I can't recollect any emotion other than relief.
We went home the next day, exactly 24 hours later. Our first night at home together was surprisingly easy, thanks to my incredible husband. And so here we are, a family of three at last, excitedly looking forward to everything the future holds for us.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Patience...
It's only a matter of time now. After a small meltdown the other night, I am feeling a bit better about everything, and I do feel like she might come soon. Regardless, I think I'll probably hold off on any further commenting on the situation until everything is over, just to avoid making myself insane.
As the year comes to a close and I think about spending almost all of it being pregnant, I realize just how much my life has changed in 2009. We started the year as newlyweds, and we're going to finish it as parents, which is a bit crazy. But every day I am even more certain that we have made the right choices and we're going to fine, better than fine, with the inevitable chaos of 2010.
And while I still think 10 months is a totally ridiculous amount of time to be pregnant, it has forced us to pause somewhat and adjust to the idea of being three instead of two.
I'm done counting days because at this point, does it really matter?
As the year comes to a close and I think about spending almost all of it being pregnant, I realize just how much my life has changed in 2009. We started the year as newlyweds, and we're going to finish it as parents, which is a bit crazy. But every day I am even more certain that we have made the right choices and we're going to fine, better than fine, with the inevitable chaos of 2010.
And while I still think 10 months is a totally ridiculous amount of time to be pregnant, it has forced us to pause somewhat and adjust to the idea of being three instead of two.
I'm done counting days because at this point, does it really matter?
Monday, December 14, 2009
Acceptance
Yes, I've reached the point of accepting that this baby is not going to surprise me and come early, no matter what I try. And I have also accepted the possibility of an induction in 2 weeks if she's really pokey.
Like I have some sort of choice in the matter.
Like I have some sort of choice in the matter.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Needles and Pins
I had my first labor induction acupuncture treatment yesterday. I certainly didn't expect immediate results, but I guess part of of me was secretly hoping for some really strong contractions or something. Nada. I'm going back tomorrow and as many times as I can squeeze in next week in hopes that it will have some sort of effect.
After doing a little investigation on the internet, it seems that acupuncture really just has the same effect as all the other homeopathic/natural things I've been trying, i.e. it stimulates the production of prosteglandin and oxytocin to help soften the cervix and prepare the body for labor. The baby still has to be ready to come for it to have any effect, or as the acupuncturist said, "when the fruit is ripe, it fall from the vine." Oh well.
While I'm happy Sam is excited, his impatience does nothing to ease my own. And my mother will be here in a week, which is adding a bit to my anxiety as well since I'm not exactly what we're going to do together other than wait for the baby to come. If I didn't feel so much like my pelvis was being crushed, I think I would have a slightly more positive attitude about things, but who knows, maybe not.
12 days until my due date...
After doing a little investigation on the internet, it seems that acupuncture really just has the same effect as all the other homeopathic/natural things I've been trying, i.e. it stimulates the production of prosteglandin and oxytocin to help soften the cervix and prepare the body for labor. The baby still has to be ready to come for it to have any effect, or as the acupuncturist said, "when the fruit is ripe, it fall from the vine." Oh well.
While I'm happy Sam is excited, his impatience does nothing to ease my own. And my mother will be here in a week, which is adding a bit to my anxiety as well since I'm not exactly what we're going to do together other than wait for the baby to come. If I didn't feel so much like my pelvis was being crushed, I think I would have a slightly more positive attitude about things, but who knows, maybe not.
12 days until my due date...
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